Modern dating advice
Modern dating advice
Both of these socially conservative communities are suffering from marriage crises that are testing not only their faiths but social norms as well.“You have no idea how big a problem this is,” said Tristen Ure Hunt, founder of the Mormon Matchmaker, a Salt Lake City dating agency.
Heterosexual men are more likely to play the field, and heterosexual women must compete for men’s attention.[Editor’s note: “Cynthia Bowman” is a pseudonym, as are other names denoted with an asterisk.Some biographical details have been altered to hide their identities.] Yes, she told me, the ratios are lopsided. “They wait for the next, more perfect woman,” grumbled Bowman, a veterinarian in San Diego.When Elefant attended Jewish high school 30 years ago, “there were maybe three girls that didn’t get married by the time they were twenty or twenty-one,” she said.“Today, if you look at the girls who graduated five years ago, there are probably thirty girls who are not yet married.Research shows it may be just as popular with older adults.
Online dating requires some courage and thoughtful planning.
According to the ARIS study, there are now 150 Mormon women for every 100 Mormon men in the state of Utah—a 50 percent oversupply of women.
On a lark, I emailed my friend Cynthia Bowman,* a devout Mormon who grew up in Salt Lake City and returns there often, and asked her whether Mormon sex ratios are as lopsided as the ARIS study claimed.
Of course, tales of scarce men and sexual permissiveness in ancient Sparta won’t convince everyone, so I began to explore the demographics of modern religion.
I wanted to show that god-fearing folks steeped in old-fashioned values are just as susceptible to the effects of shifting sex ratios as cosmopolitan, hookup-happy 20-somethings who frequent Upper East Side wine bars. One of my web searches turned up a study from Trinity College’s American Religious Identification Survey (ARIS) on the demographics of Mormons.
But heading to the local bar doesn't appeal, and friends have no one to suggest. For many who are dissatisfied with the old-fashioned way of meeting new people, online dating has become an acceptable and popular alternative.