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We talk about books, and he says his wife doesn't excite this part of his brain."I could never have this conversation with her," he says.
His message says, "Although we haven't yet met, something has happened (at least for me). "Why is it I get the feeling I'm missing out on something very important? He says checking his email is his favorite time of day.He was in Vegas for a bachelor party, and he took a girl from the blackjack table upstairs to his room. There are plenty of men like B., who says he is happily married when what he really means is he is complacently bored. He says she's as close to perfect as any man could hope for, but it's clear he's conflicted.It was wild, he says, and then puts his hand on my leg. is 32, tall and slim, and has been married for two years. In one of his emails, he says he can't write too much, but there are 800 words, and pictures of him and his children. He believes that marriage is a path all men must travel at some point. wants to meet me, but he's not sure he can steal time away.He has gone home to his wife after renting a room and having sex there with another woman.B., who is kind and polite and describes himself as honest despite what he's doing at this very moment, says his wife isn't the nosy kind. I know a lot of women who do, but my wife really trusts me." Like the other men, he's afraid of getting caught but, similarly, says he feels no guilt. But most have taken their pictures recently and surreptitiously.
One man has his arm across the shoulders of a young Jon Bon Jovi.
By definition, Ashley Madison, a dating site for cheaters, is a disreputable place. Your first impulse may be to throw your arms up in rage and condemn its members, the ones trawling for an affair or the chance to talk dirty in an instant message. I set out to ask married men on the site not only why they cheat, but why they do it so boldly, admitting their recklessness and confessing their betrayals on the Internet as though their morality and fidelity were items up for auction on e Bay. I say I'm scared to live the rest of my life with unexplored desire. There are the ones who just want to meet to have sex; you can tell because their handles are direct and uncomplicated: Yours4Lust and Deep Passion Man.
To get started, I create a profile with a fake name and a dark picture of myself and chart a plan. Then I'll meet a few of them for a drink, but there will be no drunkenness. The rest of what I say is mostly true, and to weed out the more aggressive guys, my tone comes off as exploratory, not sexual. They list measurements and ask for yours, as though it's merely a matter of fitting one puzzle piece into another. Instead, I respond to the thoughtful ones, whose tales might help answer my questions.
He wants to meet; he doesn't know I ran into him just last week. The more careful among them don't post pictures directly to the site, but they send a key that grants me access to a "private showcase" of images.
Earlier, he sent 2,000 words on how he got into the game, the trips to California and Ireland, the way the clouds flood the greens at Galway Bay. The long puppyish emails, the condensation of an entire life into a few breathless paragraphs that allow him to retell the stories his wife has already heard.
I get a smile on my face when I have an email from you." He wants something from me that is not sex, even if it is disguised as sex. He thinks of me at work, he thinks of me when he is birdcalling. More: Ashley Madison has become a profitable affair On Ashley Madison, wives are mostly reduced to pronouns, and in that reduction they are less a human than a fact that shares their home.