How to cope with dating a prostitute
How to cope with dating a prostitute
”One friend – or someone I thought was a friend, at the time – told everyone in my social circle that there must be something psychologically wrong with me, because nobody in her right mind would ever choose to be a prostitute.She said she’d read that people in the sex industry are only there because they’ve been forced into it, or because they were sexually abused as children and then make warped decisions about their sexuality as adults. The reality is that I had a happy childhood that was completely devoid of abuse of any kind. My parents cooked dinner for me every night, helped me with my homework, and told me they loved me every single day. Experience had taught me that people would judge, pity, or lecture me if I was open and honest about my life, and after years of enduring these reactions, I didn’t have the energy to cope with them anymore. Today, people are shocked when I tell them I used to be an extrovert.
But lately, I've really been struggling with the stigma, and I’ve been feeling hopeless and uncertain about my future.
Sometimes I received lectures about how I was enabling the patriarchy by choosing to be a sex worker.
I was derided and called selfish for choosing a line of work that encourages sexism against women, and I was accused of being a traitor to the feminist cause.
Reactions were so negative, however, that I quickly realized I needed to be more selective about revealing this information.
In my first few months of working as an escort, I was met with enough raised eyebrows, grimaces of disgust, and looks of pity to last a lifetime.
But everyone in my social circle came to think of me as deranged and messed up. I was outwardly happy and I felt free to express myself. Now, I go out of my way not to draw attention to myself. These days, people describe me with adjectives like “quiet” and “shy.” I keep to myself a lot. I have three really supportive friends in my life who know what I do and accept me the way I am.
In my isolation, I am bombarded with negative images about sex work in the media, and that only makes me feel worse. I also have a handful of work friends that can empathize with my struggles and offer helpful advice.
What would you actually have your partner do about their sexual past? First of all, changing the past could do irreparable damage to the space/time continuum. Whoever else they had sex with, however many of them there were, IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. You don’t have to worry so much about them leaving you at 45 to go on a motorcycle tour of the nation’s brothels. Of course, if they’re not treating you how you think you deserve to be treated, that might be what you’re really upset about. That may have come in part by having their attractiveness confirmed in the past. It’s not necessarily with a “perfect ten.” The best sex is with the person who understands you the best.
Just because someone has a promiscuous past doesn’t necessarily mean you have to worry about their insatiable sexual appetite. It may have also come from getting screwed over and healing. Just because you’re jealous doesn’t mean you’re a psycho. Feeling like someone wants you all to themselves can be a huge turn-on. It’s with the person who is the most turned on by you. You’ll be amazed at how little the past matters when you’re both having the best sex of your lives.
Dating someone who’s had lots of sex could mean they’re better at sex.
Consider yourself lucky that someone else got the brunt of their awkward phase. But make sure you’re not punishing someone for that happened before you met and can’t be undone. If everything else about them works for you, that’s what matters.
Remember that, if you like this person, it’s every experience they’ve ever had that made them into the person you like. Go ahead and tell the person you’re dating all about how you feel. You want to murder everyone they’ve ever had sex with?