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For now, her strategy is to keep a casual attitude about her romantic life.
"But on the other hand, you have to wonder: If racism weren't so ingrained in our culture, would they have those preferences?
Jason is out of the dating game entirely because he ended up finding his current partner, who is white, on an app two years ago.
He credits part of his success with making bold statements about his values in his profile.
"[When it comes to attraction,] familiarity is a really big piece," Hobley says.
"So people tend to be often attracted to the people that they are familiar with.
These were the types of messages Jason, a 29-year-old Los Angeles resident, remembers receiving on different dating apps and websites when he logged on in his search for love seven years ago. NPR is not using his last name to protect his privacy and that of the clients he works with in his internship.
He is gay and Filipino and says he felt like he had no choice but to deal with the rejections based on his ethnicity as he pursued a relationship. But I started to think, I have a choice: Would I rather be alone, or should I, like, face racism?And in a segregated society, that can be harder in certain areas than in others." Curtis says she relates to that idea because she has had to come to terms with her own biases.After growing up in the mostly white town of Fort Collins, Colo., she says she exclusively dated white men until she moved to New York.Other dating experts have pointed to such stereotypes and lack of multiracial representation in the media as part of the likely reason that plenty of online daters have had discouraging experiences based on their race.Melissa Hobley, Ok Cupid's chief marketing officer, says the site has learned from social scientists about other reasons that people's dating preferences come off as racist, including the fact that they often reflect IRL — in real life — norms." Hobley says the site made changes over the years to encourage users to focus less on potential mates' demographics and appearance and more on what she calls "psychographics." "Psychographics are things like what you're interested in, what moves you, what your passions are," Hobley says.