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She wants a man who is at least her equal, so she is looking for an 'A level' man.
And after marriage, EQ is still needed to cultivate the many social relationships -- guanxi -- required to get a better job, get your kids into the better schools and your parents out of the hospital waiting queue and into the assessment room.“The main requirement is that that the girl has to be wen rou [to have a gentle disposition],” Zhong explains.It’s not that Chinese men demand complete obedience from their wives (Shanghainese men are often credited with being kinder than their wives), but they do look for a gentle, obliging personality -- or at least the appearance of one.When she hits 30 in China, a woman is considered a sheng nu (left over woman) or “3S”: single, born in the 1970s and stuck, many smart and successful, just not married.Shanghai resident Chen Heng Tao explains the challenge: “First, you have to understand the ABCD system. She is ambitious, successful in career, comes from a privileged background and has an advanced degree.This recipe is a couple of years old now, but given that it’s still as popular as ever, I thought it needed a freshen up.
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Such is the demand for high quality mates, that top-tier males are thin on the ground.
In addition, in Shanghai, it's widely believed that the ideal childbearing age for a woman is between 24-28.
So the 'A level' men will be grabbed up by 'B level' women.
It doesn't hurt that 'B level' women are usually younger and more attractive by that measure.
If the initial requirements are met, creating and maintaining that good relationship with a dui xiang’s family is the next critical test for many young, local couples.