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After the five years had passed, the dog was one exceptionally mean monster.
" The Americans replied, "Yeah, well, we spent five years figuring out how to make an alligator look like a dachshund." An American, a Russian, and a Pole were riding on a train.
The American man pulled out a case of the finest cigarettes, took one drag on it, and proceeded to throw both the cigarette and pack out the window.
His response to the shocked looks of the others was, "In America, we have lots of these." The Russian man, not to be outdone, pulled out a case of premium Russian vodka.
To help you we have made a compilation of some of the best of the great jokes and funny one line jokes that we know - on all sorts of topics from short funny jokes to great jokes about countries to dating jokes to jokes about alcohol and much more.
To kick off the page, we present: - In days long past, a Chinese emperor needed a new samurai to be his personal bodyguard.
He sent out a message to all the lands summoning the best warriors to his court in three years time.
The day of the summoning arrives, and only three warriors present themselves. He opened a matchbox to release a fly into the air.
The first, being a practical Englishman, grabs a bottle of water from the car.
The second, being a staid Scotsman, grabs an umbrella. The others question his decision, but he mocks them saying, "This way I can always roll down the window when I get too hot walking in this desert." A wise person once said: 'Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder! Funny jokes about alcohol can make you laugh till you pee ...
A year later, he is again sitting on his couch watching TV when the doorbell rings again.
He opens the door to see an angry snail, who yells, "What the Heck was that for?
Below are some really funny jokes that show just how funny competition between countries can be: Russia and the U. were at the peak of the Cold War when they realized that they were going to destroy the entire world - several times over, even - if they kept competing by creating and using the traditional kinds of weapons. After long and arduous negotiations they decided that a dog fight was a great way to settle the dispute.