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Thus, we work harder and harder at possessing & keeping the other person rather than dating them.Principle #3: Even though the process of developing a relationship should be taken relatively slowly, neither the man nor the woman should waste time by not being intentional with the dates they have together.
One of the best things Jon ever did for me in our dating relationship was to NOT kiss me until we got engaged.
The man and the woman should not only protect time to spend with friends apart from one another, they should also plan to date in front of their friends and family.
Double dates, group dates, hanging with large groups of friends are all healthy ways to not become isolated.
There is a time and a place for physical intimacy – just not within the first 5-6 dates (even if the couple has known each other well before dating).
If the man or woman cannot go 5-6 dates without initiating intimate physical contact with the other person, that should be a significant indicator to both parties that he/she is more interested in using the other person for physical self-gratification than building a healthy relationship.
The same remains true for the woman (see chapter 2.5): she should play a little hard-to-get, she should be flattered by the ask and thank the man for asking, and, unless her feelings have changed, she should say yes.
She must also remember not to allow boys in through the back door (see chapter 2.3).The focus of chapter three will be on developing, maintaining and defining a healthy relationship that, hopefully, matures into something more.Once a second date is agreed to, there are five basic principles that should govern the first phase of the dating relationship (the first 5-6 dates or so) in order for it to grow in a healthy direction and at a healthy pace.Only seeing each other about once a month or so definitely allowed for Lee to plan out the dates well, for us to not waste time getting to know each other…communication was a huge factor of our relationship since it was mostly all we had, and for us to approach the physical intimacy at the right time.However, we did have to be careful with not becoming too isolated once we were finally living in the same city.The temptation to possess another person is strong because our fears of loneliness, rejection, and insignificance are substantial.