Intimidating other people
Intimidating other people - building trust when dating
What do you think about when parents say things like “Boys are just intimidated by you” as a way to explain why they’re not noticing you? GABBY: I care a lot less now about whether a dude gives a fuck if I exist, but in high school I felt uncrushable and I’d complain to my parents about not feeling cute. Of course my parents meant well, but honestly, I don’t think teenage boys were smart enough to actively be afraid of me in that way.
GABBY: But people also project their own insecurities, too. If I meet someone who is dressed really well, or just doesn’t seem interested in getting to know me, I write them off as intimidating or too cool instead of risking approaching them and having them reject me.Like, if you’re a girl and you argue against something, people easily perceive you as an angry bitch.I feel like this hardly happens with guys in high school.want to get in shape before I go to the gym." That's the first thing my client, Jessica*, said when she hired me to be her personal trainer.When I asked her why she didn't just use the gym to get in shape she said, "Are you crazy? "It's unfortunate, but plenty of people feel intimidated at the thought of joining a gym.Also, we’ve both been called “intimidating” by our peers, teachers, and parents, and all of them meant it as a compliment. A lot of girls we know have been called intimidating, so we decided to talk to each other about what this phenomenon actually means.
—Gabby GABBY: Do you remember what if felt like the first time someone described you as intimidating?
Walking into a huge open room with hundreds of mysterious machines is tough and what's worse is that the members seem to be in great shape and know exactly what they're doing.
It's not hard to see why so many people think they're too out of shape to join a gym.
DUDE, I WAS PROJECTING A LACK OF CONFIDENCE AND BELITTLING OTHERS! I have to remind myself that even if you’re the perfectly intimidating girl in my head who wears a leather jacket and great eyeliner, you probably still feel insecure, and you have to pee just like everyone else, and you probably watch Netflix alone sometimes, too. GABBY: Yeah, it was shocking the first time I found out.
So I guess the moral is don’t describe people as intimidating unless they’re literally threatening you. ALSO, we’re all intimidated by each other, secretly.
GABBY: Also, I’ve never felt intimidating in terms of my appearance. GABBY: I don’t think you look intimidating, but you do have, like, an UNTOUCHABLE COOL. GABBY: I’ve felt this with basically every great friend I have—sort of like a game-recognize-game situation.