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Becoming a cast member in "Puppetry of the Penis" is a legitimate career possibility. According to Kinsey's studies on average penis size, I'm three standard deviations above the mean – even when you account for the fact that gay guys have bigger tools, on average, than breeders – which means that if my cock were in the NBA, it'd be somewhere between Kareem Abdul Jabbar and Yao Ming.
But that's why God gave us big-breasted friends; an equally endowed girlfriend – whose gifts are a lot more in-your-face than mine – told me, “Size only matters if you let it matter.” And when you're considering getting in on this square-cut bathing suit fad.
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