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13-Jan-2020 19:38 by 6 Comments

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Ask yourself these questions: If you find yourself or your partner developing an emotional affair, you need to put your attention on your primary relationship as soon as possible.

Other online-overtures are also busy creating the illusion of a maximal availability of never-ending supplies of alternative partners and in that way secretly, clandestinely and through the back door undermine actual relationships.

Begin the work of re-investing emotional energy in your primary relationship.

Turning to someone else during a time of conflict or distance often is merely escaping and avoiding other issues which won’t go away.

For many people, the emotional affair is a great source of relief and comfort during relationship difficulties.

But the danger is that there is a finite amount of intimate emotional energy to go around, and when one begins to regularly invest significant amounts of their emotional energy in someone outside the primary committed relationship, the primary relationship can be seriously compromised.

There may or may not be a romantic/sexual attraction initially accompanying this budding friendship.

But when the primary relationship is experiencing ongoing hostility, conflict and/or distance, and one member of the relationship pulls away from their partner and consistently turns to their ‘friend’ for companionship, support and sharing of deep personal material, an emotional affair has begun.Frequently, an emotional affair will deepen through consistent contact through in-person discussion and/or numerous text messages, email and/or voicemail messages.Texting in particular is frequently the medium where emotional affairs develop.Once the door of emotional intimacy has been opened and the bond deepens, the person having the emotional affair cannot help but compare.“It’s so easy to talk to her, and so hard to talk to my spouse” is the common refrain.And don’t kid yourself: these same issues will resurface again should you develop a real relationship with your emotional affair partner.

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